What is Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy & What are the Benefits?

Maybe you and your partner have been having trouble with communication. You don’t feel like you share the same emotional connection that you once did. Lately, every conversation feels fraught and strained. When you’re feeling angry or upset, and you try to share your thoughts, the words don’t seem to come out quite right. Perhaps you’ve gotten frustrated with your partner because it seems like they aren’t listening to you when you need them most—or maybe they’ve said the same to you.

Emotionally focused therapy can help couples overcome problems like these. Let’s explore what EFT really means and how this form of therapy can improve your relationship with your partner.

Examining Unhelpful Patterns

Through EFT, you and your partner will break down the unhelpful patterns in your relationship with guidance from your therapist. If you’ve been together for a long time, you may not even notice that some of your behavioral patterns and communication habits don’t serve you. But these patterns might be normalized in your relationship, leaving you both stuck in a rut. By identifying these patterns in therapy, you can start breaking free from these cycles. Over time, you’ll be able to build a strong, secure bond and create a stable foundation for your relationship based on deep emotional engagement and responsiveness.

Enhancing Your Emotional Awareness

Sometimes, you might not even be aware of which emotions you’re experiencing at a given time. It sounds simple, but learning how to distinguish between emotions like anger, disappointment, and envy can help you heal your relationship. Furthermore, with EFT therapy, you’ll explore why certain situations trigger specific emotions. You’ll also be able to observe how you behave after experiencing those triggers and how these behaviors could affect your partner.

Learning How To Express Yourself

As you explore your emotions, you’ll also start learning how to express your point of view better when you’re upset. This is an important component of emotional awareness. You’ll be able to practice sharing your perspective without saying things that might be hurtful to your partner. Furthermore, you’ll work on speaking clearly so that you can convey exactly what’s on your mind. You and your partner will get more comfortable with true vulnerability and authenticity.

Reacting With Empathy

EFT isn’t just about improving your own communication skills—it’s also about becoming a better listener. Remember, conversations with your partner should never feel like a one-way street. You and your partner can both work on honing your listening skills through EFT.

Listening is not a passive activity. Being an active listener takes effort. Furthermore, when your partner opens up to you about something important, they don’t want to feel like you’re dismissing or diminishing their feelings. Instead, you need to react to each other with empathy. Showing compassion when your partner chooses to be vulnerable can deepen your relationship.

Long-Term Benefits Of EFT

During EFT sessions, your therapist will encourage both of you to discuss your relationship and the challenges you’ve been facing. You might work on role-playing different types of conversations so that your therapist can observe how you interact with each other. Additionally, you’ll both focus on emotional regulation, which will help you stay calm and collected during discussions that could have otherwise turned heated. You can apply all of these skills outside of sessions. If you can put these skills into practice, you’ll enjoy more productive conversations and a deeper sense of respect for each other.

Are you and your partner struggling to express yourselves? Working with an EFT therapist can help. Reach out to us to discuss your options for scheduling your first session for couples therapy.