Increasing Intimacy: 4 Secrets to Reignite the Flame

Maybe you and your partner have been together for a long time, and you feel like the spark has faded away over the years. Perhaps it’s been a while since you’ve been intimate. Or maybe intimacy just doesn’t feel the same. You may not feel the same deep connection that you used to experience. You wish you could revive the romantic spark in your relationship, but you’re not sure how.

Even the happiest couples need to work at keeping intimacy alive. As the years go on, and you leave the honeymoon phase behind, both partners will need to put in an effort when it comes to intimacy. No matter how long you’ve been together, here are a few tips to help you increase intimacy in your relationship.

1. Affectionate Touch

When was the last time you held your partner’s hand while walking down the street? If you and your partner are watching a movie, do you sit separately on the couch or snuggle next to each other? Have you and your partner ever danced in your living room for no reason?

Affectionate touch of any kind can pave the way for better intimacy. That’s because intimacy is about closeness and comfort. When you’re spending time with your partner, try to foster that closeness again—you will be surprised by how small gestures can go a long way to increasing intimacy. Hugs, kisses, holding hands, putting an arm around your partner’s shoulder, and cuddling are all part of cultivating intimacy.

2. Schedule Date Nights

Has it been a while since you and your partner went on an actual date? It’s not always easy to make time for each other. One or both of you might have a demanding job that requires you to work long hours or travel for stretches of time. If you have children, it can definitely be tough to schedule regular date nights, especially if you don’t have a strong local support system.

Even if you feel like you’re too busy to plan lots of date nights with your partner, it’s still crucial to make time for just the two of you when you can simply enjoy each other’s company. This might involve budgeting for a babysitter once per month or discussing how you can fit date nights around your work schedules. Mark your date nights on your calendar, and make it a commitment. When you and your partner have time to yourselves and you can focus on each other, you might find that intimacy comes naturally.

3. Go Somewhere New

Getting stuck in a routine can discourage intimacy over time. You might feel like you’re living the same day over and over again, and the repetitive nature of your routines doesn’t exactly motivate you to be intimate with your partner. But a change of scenery every once in a while might be the fix you need. Consider booking a fun weekend vacation in a nearby city or even splurge on a night at a fancy resort.

4. Physical Activity

If you’re not physically active, you might notice your libido dropping. It’s not easy to incorporate exercise into your busy daily routine! However, if you make room in your life for regular exercise, increased intimacy could easily follow. Perhaps you and your partner could both benefit from working out together. Trying an activity like couples yoga could be lots of fun! Even going for daily walks around your neighborhood is a good way to start getting in shape.

Are you and your partner struggling with intimacy? Working with a therapist can help. Reach out to us today to discuss your options for scheduling your first couples therapy session.