How To Talk With Your Partner About Your Relationship

In the beginning, it was likely complete bliss. You felt super close with each other and never really had issues with one another. But as time goes on, this bliss that you are feeling can fade away. As the relationship progresses, life gets in the way. Instead of feeling blissful and at peace, you start to feel unhappy.

Not the kind of unhappiness that causes a couple to break up. Just unhappiness in terms of how things are going in the relationship. Where at one time they went out of their way to make sure you were happy, now it doesn’t seem as if they care. All of that effort they made to spend time with you? Now it seems as if they are more interested in their phone or the hobbies that they do.

Managing a relationship is hard. And when you feel as if you are the only one who is unhappy, you may just think it best to keep quiet. However, when you are in a relationship, it’s important to always communicate with each other. Here are a few ways that you can talk to your partner about your relationship.

1. If Something Is Bothering You, Don’t Bottle It In

It’s common to just keep things to our self. We don’t want to seem too dramatic or to hurt our partner’s feelings. But this isn’t always the best policy.

Instead of bottling things up, talk to your partner about it. If they said or did something the other day that kind of hurt you, be honest. You can say it in a way that is not attacking them, but rather explaining it to them. Before you say it, just think of how you want to word it. If they didn’t take the garbage out like they said they would, frame it in a different way. Instead of saying, “The least you could have done is taken the garbage out when I had asked,” say, “I wish you had taken the garbage out because I was having a stressful day and needed the help around the house.”

2. Listen To What They Are Saying

Don’t just speak, but listen. What are they saying in return? Hear the tone of what is being expressed. If you are having a conversation about things in your relationship that should be improved, do more than just talk. Hear their side of things too.

Worried that they aren’t spending enough time with you? Understand where they are coming from. It could be that they are so stressed with work, they don’t have bandwidth do much more than work and just relax. Or maybe they are just needing the time spend doing hobbies they like as a way to decompress.

3. Compromise On Each Other’s Needs

Relationships are a balance between giving and taking. At times. one person may need to receive more than they give or vice versa.

When you are in a relationship, it’s about compromising. Reach an agreement that will make both of you happy. It’s about spending more time together? Agree that one or two days out of the week will just be for you two. If it’s about household chores? Create a list and divide and conquer about who will do what.

Therapy Can Help You Talk To Each Other

Sometimes, relationships get stuck in a place where you stop knowing how to talk to one another. As frustrating as this is, it is really natural for it to happen.

When you are becoming frustrated with your relationship, it’s important to try and take care of what is going on sooner rather than later. If you don’t, the issues and what you are feeling can worsen over time.

As a couples therapist, I am trained to help couples just like you figure out the best way to move forward that honors you both. Especially if you are getting ready to get married, learning how to communicate with each other is going to really set the stage. Let’s connect soon so we can help you with premarital counseling.