How To Fix A Sexless Marriage

When you and your spouse began dating, you were intensely attracted to one another. At the time, you imagined that your attraction to each other would only grow deeper over time. Yet today, after years together, you’re wondering where things went wrong. Perhaps it’s been months or even over a year since the two of you last had sex. Maybe you rarely even touch each other anymore. You could never imagine that your intimate connection would fade, and you desperately miss the feeling of being wanted. But you’re not sure how to get back the spark that drew you together when you first met.

Right now, you might be worried that trying to repair your sexless marriage is a hopeless endeavor. But if you and your spouse are truly dedicated to strengthening your bond and fostering a newfound attraction to each other, you can absolutely overcome this issue. Here are a few steps you can take to cultivate intimacy within your marriage.

Identify The Core Issue

First, it’s important to figure out why you and your spouse haven’t been having sex. Did you recently welcome a new baby and become overwhelmed by the demands of parenthood? Have either of you been struggling with health problems or taking medications that could be affecting your libido? Maybe you’ve been dealing with an ongoing conflict that has driven a wedge between you. Once you get clear on the issue, you can start getting to the heart of the problem.

Address The Specific Roots Of The Problem

Now, it’s up to both of you to commit to addressing the roots of your lack of intimacy. For example, if you’re having trouble making time for each other since becoming parents, take a close look at your schedules and workload. Should you delegate tasks in a way that is fairer to both of you, ask local friends and family for more help, or carve out room in your budget for a babysitter so you can enjoy regular date nights? Come up with a couple of potential solutions to the problem you’re dealing with, and start testing them out to see what works.

Make Space For Emotional Intimacy

You may not feel drawn to physical intimacy with someone if you can’t be genuinely emotionally intimate with them. Open up to your spouse about how you’re really feeling, and listen when they talk. Make time just to relax and talk about your emotions together. Vulnerability is a practice, and it gets easier with time.

Be Physically Affectionate

Physical affection doesn’t just refer to sex. Being physically affectionate with your spouse can help you feel at ease around each other again, especially if you’ve been stressed lately. Stroking your spouse’s hair, giving them a long hug, or simply cuddling together can all be important steps towards rebuilding your intimate connection.

Connect With A Couples Therapist

If you’ve been dealing with a lack of sex in your marriage for a long time, there’s a high chance that you’ve already tried to tackle the problem on your own. Now, you’re tired of trying to fix it by yourself, and you’re ready to look for outside guidance. You don’t have to continue pushing forward by yourselves. Instead, consider reaching out to a couples therapist for support. A couples therapist can provide you both with a safe environment to discuss what you’ve been going through and suggest realistic approaches to revitalizing your sex life.

Are you and your spouse struggling to revive your sexless marriage? A couples counselor can help you both heal. Reach out to us to find out more about our couples therapy services.