6 Red Flags to Look For When Dating

Maybe you’ve gone on a couple of dates with someone new, and you’re wondering whether you are a good match. Or perhaps you’ve gone through a breakup recently, and although part of you is eager to start dating again, you’re also nervous that you’ll miss red flags early on and end up in a relationship that isn’t right for you. Learning how to spot red flags when meeting someone will allow you to avoid people who won’t treat you well in the long run. Here are six common red flags you should keep an eye out for in the early days of dating.

1. Love bombing

When you meet someone who seems head over heels for you right off the bat, it can feel flattering. But beware of love bombing. This tactic involves showering you with compliments, trying to reach you at all hours of the day, and generally putting on an excessive display of affection before you and your date even get to know each other. These are empty words, and they can be a sign of emotional immaturity or poor boundaries.

2. Violating Your Boundaries

Clearly, boundaries are important even in long-term romantic relationships. Therefore, if someone disrespects your boundaries early on, it’s a sign to cut off the relationship. If they test your boundaries in small ways right off the bat, they will violate other boundaries later. This can even be a sign that the person is not safe to be around.

3. Speaking Poorly Of Past Partners

If your date spends a good chunk of time bad-mouthing their past significant others, remember that one person is the common element in all of those relationships that went south. By the time you reach adulthood, almost everyone you date will have been through at least one bad breakup. But even if someone has been treated poorly by their past partners, it’s impolite to start saying negative things about your ex’s when you meet someone new.

4. Hot And Cold

Perhaps the first time you went out, your date seemed enthusiastic. But when you reached out to them later, they ignored you— only to pop up again in a few days, eagerly trying to plan a second date without explanation for leaving your texts unread earlier. This hot and cold attitude is a sign of immaturity. If your date isn’t consistent, you don’t want to waste your time trying to figure out their true feelings.

5. Unresolved Mental Health Struggles

Many people who suffer from anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, substance abuse issues, or other mental health conditions go on to seek treatment, heal, and become great partners in the future. But if you strongly suspect that your date is struggling with a condition that they have not sought help for, you may not want to pursue a relationship with them at the moment. Someone in this position should seek treatment before trying to date because healing isn’t found in diving into relationships; it’s found in treatment, therapy, and self-care.

6. Lack Of Clarity

Maybe your date has told you that they’re not looking for anything serious at the moment. Yet they still expect you to act as though you’re in a committed relationship with them. Or perhaps your date has hinted that they want to make things exclusive and official soon. However, they haven’t deleted their dating apps. A lack of clarity is a major red flag. You deserve to be with someone who knows what they want.

Are you struggling to spot red flags and set boundaries while dating? Working with a therapist can help you change your approach. Reach out to us today to discuss your options for scheduling your first session for therapy for women.