5 Ways to Build Intimacy with Your Partner 

When you and your partner began dating, you had a strong physical connection. You were deeply attracted to each other, and intimacy felt natural. But now, it seems like the two of you have only grown more distant. Maybe your sex life isn’t what it used to be. Perhaps you feel like you’re starved for physical touch. You miss the intimacy you once shared with your partner, and you wonder where things went wrong.

Couples lose intimacy for many reasons. You might have gone through a major life change, like moving or having a baby. Sometimes, when you exit the “honeymoon” phase, you push romance to the back burner and start prioritizing other areas of your life. Here’s how to bounce back as a couple and rebuild your intimate connection.

1. Leave More Room In Your Schedule For Quality Time

Between work, domestic responsibilities, maintaining your social life, and other errands and obligations, you might feel like there’s little time for romance in your daily life. That’s why making a proactive effort to schedule date nights and create room in your calendar for quality time is essential. Even if you can only commit to a short block of time each weekend to focus on each other, you’d be surprised by how much of a difference this can make!

2. Be Vulnerable With Each Other

Sometimes, a lack of intimacy is rooted in a lack of vulnerability. Perhaps it’s been a long time since the two of you truly opened up to each other in an authentic way. Maybe the lack of intimacy in your relationship has been bothering you, but you’ve never specifically addressed it with your partner. If you and your partner haven’t openly spoken about your feelings, it’s time to start the conversation. Once you’ve gotten these emotions off of your chest, you’ll feel a little lighter.

3. Be Physically Affectionate

Physical affection isn’t just sex! Kissing your partner on the cheek, holding their hand while you’re out running errands, or even putting an arm around their shoulders are all affectionate gestures that can help build intimacy. Physical touch makes you feel closer to your partner. Find opportunities to be physically affectionate, and see how it bridges the gap between you.

4. Take A Vacation, Or Enjoy A Relaxing Staycation

Maybe your domestic life feels a bit stagnant right now. You might be parenting young children, taking care of your aging parents, or dealing with another situation at home that’s leaving you chronically stressed. If possible, consider getting out of town for a few days — even a weekend in a nearby city could be a nice break from your usual routine.

What if you’re not able to do this? Consider taking a “staycation” instead. Use a day or two off of work to plan a long weekend focused on relaxation.

5. Express Your Appreciation

Finally, don’t forget to tell your partner that you love and appreciate them. You don’t have to wait for them to do something specific! Telling your partner how much you care about them or randomly remarking on their positive qualities will boost their self-esteem. In return, they should be doing the same for you! When you start dating someone, you might find yourself complimenting them all of the time, but as you settle into your relationship, it’s easy to take these compliments for granted and stop making the effort. By reversing the trend, you can cultivate lasting intimacy.

Do you feel like you and your partner have lost your intimate connection? Therapy can help you revive the spark. Reach out to us to find out more about our couples therapy services.